Want to get better at fitness? Train a dog.

My wife and I got our first dog earlier this year. She came to us with minimal training but is the biggest lover ever. Of course, she's a pitbull and stubborn as hell, so after a few months of trying to train her ourselves, we enlisted the help of a professional. You're probably reading this wondering how us getting a dog is even remotely related to fitness. I'm not sure how many of you have ever tried to train a dog, but there are a lot of similarities between training Josie and surviving in a fitness journey. I'm pretty sure if you're reading this you're either in the beginning or know someone that is in the beginning of their fitness journey and when you're done, hopefully, you'll see the link and learn a few things to make the journey better.

Dog trainer, Brandon McMillan, believes in teaching the dogs he works with 7 common commands and teaching them to do them extremely well. Without good control of the 7 commands, teaching any more complex commands will not be beneficial. While we have a goal to pass a rigorous canine exam at the end of the course, we don't advance or build on a command until Josie can do it correct most of the time. In a similar manner, one should develop proficiency in basic lifting technique. The basic movement patterns should be performed with proficiency before moving to more advanced movements. The basic patterns are: squat, hinge, horizontal push, horizontal pull, vertical push, and vertical pull. Additionally, one should be able to perform at least 10 minutes of uninterrupted steady state cardio. In my opinion, the lifts that work best are the front squat, rack deadlift, dumbbell bench, seated cable row, dumbbell overhead press, and parallel grip pulldown. Some will argue the cardio isn't necessary, but for heart health and to have an aerobic base to help build muscle and burn fat, cardio is necessary.

Lesson: become proficient at the basics before adding on or advancing the skill level.

With obedience training, the dog should be able to follow the basic commands: sit, stay, down, come, heel, off, and no. Right now, all of our energy should be focused on helping Josie learn those commands and execute them effectively. Spending time teaching her to rollover, play dead, or any other list of assorted tricks doesn't make her better at the commands she needs to be good at. Essentially, it is a waste of her time and ours. Now look at this in terms of training. If your goal is to get strong, lose weight, gain muscle, etc., the best use of your time is spent on the big, multijoint movements. Everybody likes the show muscles and wants to build them up, but focusing on them won't get the job done without a pre-existing base.

Lesson: focus on the big stuff, not the minutiae until you've gone as far as you can with it.

In our three sessions training Josie, it has been emphasized there are several mistakes we make in dog training. The biggest and easiest to avoid is have unclear expectations. A dog does not have a vocabulary or an education that allows it to interpret the words we are saying, they only know to associate a response with a word. When they receive a positive response, the action they performed following the word is correct. However, when we don't follow through or offer the reward for something that is "close enough", the dog can't be expected to get better. When we're working on our fitness, allowing our technique to get sloppy, being undisciplined and inconsistent will lead to shoddy results.

Lesson: set guidelines for your goal and hold yourself to those.

As a dog owner, it is also extremely important to have realistic expectations while going through training. We can't expect Josie to perform the commands perfectly after 1 day or 1 week, some commands may take more than 1 month, but with realistic expectations, we won't get frustrated. Frustration only serves to make the training process harder for both dog and owner. In fitness, having realistic expectations may be a challenge with all the embellished stories of exceptions to the rule making unbelievable progress may be a challenge, but it is a necessary element in success. Setting an unrealistic expectation, lose 30 lbs in a month when you have 50 total to lose or increase your bench by 50 lbs in 6 weeks are good examples for most people, only leads to frustration.

Lesson: dream big and set goals high, but know what is achievable and be realistic about achieving them.

As you can see, training a dog isn't much different than training yourself. One of the main lessons I have yet to mention comes in the intro to this; when you don't know what to do or how to do it, seek knowledgeable help. Nothing can be more frustrating and tougher to overcome than feeling helpless because you don't know where to start or what direction to go. Whether you pay a professional or have the assistance of a knowledgeable group, the experience can make all the difference between success and failure.

Lesson: seek the help of knowledgeable people.

Not all of us are fitness minded and sometimes the similarities we find in some of our other life activities (like training a dog) can help us get and stay on track to our goals.

The Missing Elements in Failed Fitness

No, it isn't something you can buy in a store.  You can't order it for this one-time low price of just 3 easy payments of $19.99.  And you will never find it by burying your head in information. It doesn't take skill, knowledge, or the best program ever written to be successful in getting healthy. With two very basic things, two elements that take absolutely ZERO skill or knowledge, you can have success:

Effort - a vigorous or determined attempt

Responsibility - the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something

Some people will want to argue about this. I've seen claims that success isn't possible without the perfect diet, the perfect plan, without more hours in the day. They'll scream they need "motivation" and beg for others to hold them "accountable", but neither of these get it done. They can have all of the motivation and outside accountability they want, but if they can scapegoat their lack or progress on something, anything but themselves really, or decide it isn't worth the effort, they will still fail.

I have a deep rooted disdain for the "motivation" excuse. Some people want rainbows and unicorn farts, other people want boots to asses. We all have to do things we don't want to do, and we do them on the daily. There's no "rah-rah" squad for these times in life, but we seem to get things done anyway. Another reason I don't like "motivation" as a factor is a simple question, "How many hobbies have you picked up and quit when they became hard and required effort?" You take on a hobby because you're motivated, it's fun, and typically, very easy to start. And then it gets monotonous, progress slows, and it takes more time and effort...and you lose interest. Motivation is fleeting and only lasts until the next big "I want" comes up or you have to make a choice between something you want now or something you want for the long run. I personally love hearing "I'm motivated to lose weight, but I can't convince myself to go to the gym, take time to meal prep, or give up drinking heavily on weekends." Well, if you're motivated, then clearly, there's another problem. Motivation (and relying on others to motivate you) is what you do when you don't really want the goal. When we first take on fitness, the initial challenge can be fun and exciting. If we chose it, we're motivated and begin to do the things we need. The goal itself is the motivation. When it's no longer new, fun or interesting, when progress isn't what we hoped, or when we can't live our old enjoyable lifestyle, we will magically find reasons to not do it anymore. We will self-sabotage and claim we need "accountability" to keep us on track.

The problem with accountability, just like motivation, is that it takes away our power. We act as if we are no longer in control of our own thoughts, decisions, and actions while placing the blame somewhere else. We are willingly saying "I cannot make decisions and take action in my own life", placing others in positions of responsibility for us. What does accountability mean when you're an adult? Who are you accountable to? How is that person going to hold you accountable? Are they going to message you non-stop? Are they going to beat you with a stick? Are they going to shower you with empty and meaningless "motivation"? Are they going to move in with you and physically force you to do it? It's very hard to be held accountable when, as a free human, there is nothing they can do to you. Stop looking to somebody else to keep you accountable and stop using the excuse that you just weren't being held accountable. The only person to fault for your failures is the person with the power over you.

You are accountable to you. Accountability is in your picture frames and in your mirror. If you don't want to do it for yourself and for the people you love most, then it isn't important enough. This is called responsibility. When life gets hectic and when life events start to close in on you, responsibility is what keeps you on track. Yes, there are some events in life that take precedence over getting to the gym and eating clean meals every day, but to completely neglect our health for an extended period of time is inexcusable. Responsibility is what keeps us training when we don't want to, keeps us eating right when the ice cream is calling our name, and convinces us to stay up a little later or wake up a little earlier just to make sure it gets done. Responsibility doesn't look for, or accept, any excuses. It's the voice that screams "get it done." We form our sense of responsibility over time, from the moment our families give us tasks, we are learning to be responsible. Unfortunately, some didn't develop responsibility while they were children and they have to learn it later, when it is much harder. They have grown accustomed to things just coming to them or somebody doing it for them. Without learning responsibility, they will continue to look everywhere and to everybody else instead of to the person in control and just getting it done.

Along with responsibility, it takes effort. The amount of effort you apply is dictated by you and only you. A coach can put the weights on your back, cheer like a madman, and have all the faith in the world, but if you decide it's too much, you won't do it. A coach can provide perfect nutrition guidance and all the motivational tools, but you still have to apply the effort and follow-through. Making an effort to look for excuses is a waste. It takes a conscious effort to be successful and eat on plan, get training sessions in, take 7 minutes and crank out a bodyweight session when you can't make it. It is an effort to get up and get things accomplished, but only you are responsible for the amount of effort you put into being healthy. You choose what you do and when to do it. You can't choose the results from the effort you didn't put into it. Like most aspects of life, we don't have to be 100% to get a good result, but we can't expect 100% results with 50% effort.

As a coach, the hardest client to deal with is the one that doesn't give 100%. If the client isn't giving 100%, a coach can't make adjustments. The coach won't know what isn't working if the work plan and work isn't done first. Sometimes you are busting your ass, doing it right, and it still isn't working. This doesn't mean give up. It doesn't mean search for a quick fix. The positive part of this kind of failure is you gave 100% and if your coach is any good, they will be able to make adjustments to hopefully get things moving. As a coach, this "failure" now becomes mines and not yours. If you aren't working with a coach, it's time to change things up. Change the program, modify the diet, but make one change at a time. I always suggest one change because a) it's easier to change one thing than ten and b) if you change more than one thing, you don't know which change caused your progress. If you haven't been following a proven program based around a philosophy, choose something that matches your goal and (and this is the key) is something you actually want to do. It doesn't matter what program you choose; if you don't want to do it, if it isn't a program that seems "fun", and if it doesn't match your goal, you won't do it. The same thing goes for nutrition. If you're a junk food fiend, trying to go Paleo will result in miserable failure, so search for a philosophy that you can be happy with.

Be A Coach!

This is in no way clearing every client as perfect or condemning every coach.

This has been written before, normally to the client, telling them how to be a good client. It's always something along the lines of "follow the plan" and "communicate" with a few other things tossed in. This time, I'm looking at the online coaches and personal trainers that always seem to think it's the fault of the client. (If you aren't a coach, keep reading anyway) Since we all assume our program will work when followed, we have to focus on communication as the reason for failure when a client follows the plan. Seriously, if the client follows the plan to the letter, as they interpret it, it should work. If they follow what they believe to be the directions, communication is the element between success and failure. Through proper communication, we can adapt and adjust to give them the best chance of success. Unfortunately, we all struggle with communicating effectively in the coach-client relationship at some point. When things aren't going well, the client feels like it's the coach that isn't doing what they're supposed to do. When the coach sees little progress or doesn't hear from the client for extended periods, the coach is left to blame the client. In the end, it doesn't matter where the communication fails, it only matters that the communication wasn't clear and one party isn't getting what they need to bring success to all.

I will only write this once... if either the client contact you or you contact the client, there are very few reasons that a response should take more than 24 hours. Even a simple acknowledgement is better than radio silence. Some clients (and coaches) want under 12 hour response times, some set the deadline at 24 hours, but it must be equal on both sides. If you wait 23 days to respond, you can not expect your coach to reply immediately.

No matter how many clients a coach has served, each client is different. Each client has different needs and learns differently. [If you have an education background, this should sound familiar] Some clients can envision a movement and make their body do it. Some clients can mimic the movements in video. Some can interpret the words, watch the video, and have no success. [Sorry to say it, but if you're this last one, an online coach most likely won't work for you, so don't get pissy when you don't get the results you imagine] Some know basic training schemes and jargon and others need fully detailed examples. As a trainer, it can be difficult to know what your client needs. This is where your ability to communicate is the most important. It's your ability to draw out the needs of your client and provide enough information to avoid getting messages like:

"I don't know what this means."
"What is ____________ exercise?"
"How much weight should I use?"
"This makes no sense."

From experience, getting these types of messages means YOU ARE LETTING YOUR CLIENT DOWN. Don't try to twist it. Don't try to respond with "they're clueless." It isn't their job to know what you mean; it's your job as the coach to meet their needs. Some clients are "needy" because they really don't know...but they will learn if you take the time. Some are "needy" and don't want to learn; they want to be told what to do instead of adding another task to their already exhausting day. Others need almost nothing and can do it perfectly. Whatever their level, you are the paid professional. If you aren't willing to do the work, be honest and tell the client that you aren't the coach for them. If you're going to pawn them off on your assistant, say that up front; that you are the face that attracts them before handing them off to somebody else. Don't take their money and make them feel like they are a pain in your ass or deceive them; there's enough of that going on in this industry as it is. And when they hit you with a request or you can tell they aren't doing what you mean, go back and explain it to them.

But this would be nothing more than a lecture if I didn't give you some advice [and if you are the client, you can use this to help your trainer] about how to head-off some troubles.

• Respond in a timely manner and explain that you aren't always able to respond right away, but will respond ASAP... and mean it.
• Link videos demonstrating proper technique for any exercise. Leaving your client to find their own could result in something really bad.
• Thoroughly explain the programming: warm-ups, sets, reps, rest periods, etc. If the program doesn't prescribe weight, explain what it should feel like and explain when to go heavier or lighter.


• Back Squat - Warm-up: sets of 5 building up to 275 [45,135,185,225,250] - rest 60-90 seconds between sets
  Work Sets: 3 sets of 5 reps @ 275 - rest 90 seconds between sets

If you use super or giant sets, write out what one round would look like, including the rests.

• Complete the following Giant Set by completing 1 set of 1A, moving immediately with no rest to 1B, and moving immediately with no rest to 1C. After completing 1C, rest 2 minutes and repeat. Complete the Giant Set 5 times.
  1A - Barbell Squat - 5 reps at 275
  1B - Underhand Grip Chin-Up - as many as you can get
  1C - Push-Up - as many as you can

If you use timed rounds, explain the goal.

• You have 7 minutes to complete as many rounds of the following circuit.
  1 round consists of:
  5 overhead med ball slams
  5 push-ups
  5 crunches
  5 tuck-jumps
  You can rest as needed between exercises and rounds. The goal is to complete 7 full rounds in 7 minutes. If you do not complete all 7, you should finish all 7 plus plus 2 additional rounds.

Of course this isn't a cure-all and there will always be other problems. If you happen to be a client, there are a few things that you can say that will leave even the best trainer scratching their head or needing to ask you more questions.

"How is this different than other programs?"
"What do you do that my other trainers didn't?"
"I need more motivation."
"I need more accountability."

In all honesty, these are some of the least helpful messages I have ever received. Just like the client needs detail and explanation, we need more than vague questions and statements. If you want to compare programs and coaches, we need to know what your other programs or coaches were like. If you need motivation or accountability, what kind of things work for you? Again, each client is different, so what motivates me could be the off switch for you. Being constantly checked in on could make you function better, or it could lead to revolt from feeling smothered. It is you, the client, that needs to help your coach find out what you need.

Remember, YOU pay the coach to help you, so whether you feel like a pain or not, COMMUNICATE whenever you need something, have a question, or can tell something isn't clicking. I will never know as a coach that you need different motivation or a different accountability measure if you don't tell me the current scheme isn't getting it done. I will never know if you hate or enjoy the program if you don't let me know... don't wait for your frustration to boil over, communicate immediately.

And if you're the coach, be the professional and act like it. Contact your clients. Check in. Ask questions. Lead your client to success, don't make them lead you to coaching them.

Sorry, Insomnia, You Aren't Winning Tonight

1 AM - drift off
2 AM - blink blink
Turn on tv to boring infomercial
2:30 AM - drift back off
3 AM - blink blink
Rollover
4 AM - drift back off, annoyed at another night of broken sleep
5:30 AM - blink sigh
Give up and just get up.

Another night without sleep, leading into another exhausting day. If you're one of the millions of insomnia sufferers, you know this pattern all too well. And it's miserable on so many levels. It leaves you tired, hungry and with hormones all out of whack among other things. We've seen all the studies saying we need 6-10 hours of sleep per night. We've seen studies that uninterrupted sleep is important, even if shorter, and possibly more effective than a bunch of sleep fragments adding up to longer sleep time. This leaves the insomnia attacked with a simple quest to minimize the nightmare of not being able to sleep long enough to have nightmares.

Science still can't explain why it happens or even give you a cure all because not everybody's insomnia is caused by the same thing. Some people have an active mind that keeps them up. Some people fall into a doom and gloom scenario in their head which won't let them sleep. Some of us have chronic nightmares since we were kids. Unfortunately, it isn't a one size describes all disease.

Most other people I know that suffer from insomnia have tried the standard tricks to beat it. For over 20 years, I've tried various "cures" only to have them not work at all or work for about two weeks before becoming completely ineffective again. Just a brief list of things I have tried:

• Reduce Stress - this was funny... it's life, there is always stress
• 478 Breathing - 4 seconds in, 7 seconds held, 8 seconds out... felt more like going unconscious than relaxing into sleep
• Melatonin - it's a "drug" and was absolutely just a waste of money
• Sleep Aids - non-prescription ones that said take no more than 2... 4 doses later I was still staring
• Turning off the TV / Kindle / Cell Phone - it's amazing how loud your house is when there's no noise to buffer it
• Getting in Bed Earlier - ha!
• Yoga - ha ha! All this did for me was get me sweaty.
• Meditation - got nothing except frustrated trying to clear my running mind.
• No Caffeine after Noon - can we say ANGRY
• No alcohol late at night - don't drink much anyway
• Train Earlier in the Day - how about days off at a time and still nothing
• No Heavy Eating within 3 Hours of Bedtime - no problem, but didn't do anything
• No Napping - I'm an adult with a job, when do I really get a nap
• Cool Bedroom - did it
• Get Out of Bed When I Can't Sleep - now I'm really awake...great!
• Chamomile and Valerian Tea - let's go to the bathroom in the middle of the night...

After years of this, I went back to my theory on getting better scores in school that had previously worked for me; stop giving a shit and stop trying. The more frustrated I got with not sleeping, the stronger the monster got. I had finally given up with the tips and tricks and occupied myself with other things, blog posts, recipe creation, programming, etc. And that's when I finally slept mostly through a night (I call asleep by 11 pm and awake at 6:30 am with no wake-ups a win) and almost to when I wanted to get up. I didn't think about beating the insomnia like I had so many nights before. It got me to thinking, if I was trying to do something, maybe I was subconsciously activating the insomnia to keep me up and wake me up. By not even acknowledging it and making my mind active with other thoughts, the viscious little monster couldn't distract my sleep. So the next night, I didn't think about when I had to get up or do anything to force myself to bed; no pills, drinks, binaural beats at all. I made sure I had "busy work" from the time I woke up until the time I finally fell asleep. And wouldn't you know, two nights in a row.

I'm here writing this on over 8 hours of restful sleep, three weeks since my last attack of insomnia and this is honestly the first time I have allowed myself to think about it since then. I'm afraid to jinx it, but I wanted to write about it because I know others that suffer. Perhaps it's time to try just ignoring that it happens to you; don't fight it, drug it, think about it, just go about your day (tonight is a good time to try this since it's Friday) and just do whatever you can to keep your mind occupied on other things until you finally fall asleep. It may not work in one night, so try it a few in a row. The mind is mysterious and who knows, thinking about insomnia may activate a chemical that time delays you into staying awake. Maybe, just maybe, if we can keep from thinking about it, getting frustrated by it, or fighting it, we can find ways to beat it.

And by all means, if you have any tips that have worked for you, let me know because at some point, I know this won't work anymore.