Sorry, Insomnia, You Aren't Winning Tonight

1 AM - drift off
2 AM - blink blink
Turn on tv to boring infomercial
2:30 AM - drift back off
3 AM - blink blink
Rollover
4 AM - drift back off, annoyed at another night of broken sleep
5:30 AM - blink sigh
Give up and just get up.

Another night without sleep, leading into another exhausting day. If you're one of the millions of insomnia sufferers, you know this pattern all too well. And it's miserable on so many levels. It leaves you tired, hungry and with hormones all out of whack among other things. We've seen all the studies saying we need 6-10 hours of sleep per night. We've seen studies that uninterrupted sleep is important, even if shorter, and possibly more effective than a bunch of sleep fragments adding up to longer sleep time. This leaves the insomnia attacked with a simple quest to minimize the nightmare of not being able to sleep long enough to have nightmares.

Science still can't explain why it happens or even give you a cure all because not everybody's insomnia is caused by the same thing. Some people have an active mind that keeps them up. Some people fall into a doom and gloom scenario in their head which won't let them sleep. Some of us have chronic nightmares since we were kids. Unfortunately, it isn't a one size describes all disease.

Most other people I know that suffer from insomnia have tried the standard tricks to beat it. For over 20 years, I've tried various "cures" only to have them not work at all or work for about two weeks before becoming completely ineffective again. Just a brief list of things I have tried:

• Reduce Stress - this was funny... it's life, there is always stress
• 478 Breathing - 4 seconds in, 7 seconds held, 8 seconds out... felt more like going unconscious than relaxing into sleep
• Melatonin - it's a "drug" and was absolutely just a waste of money
• Sleep Aids - non-prescription ones that said take no more than 2... 4 doses later I was still staring
• Turning off the TV / Kindle / Cell Phone - it's amazing how loud your house is when there's no noise to buffer it
• Getting in Bed Earlier - ha!
• Yoga - ha ha! All this did for me was get me sweaty.
• Meditation - got nothing except frustrated trying to clear my running mind.
• No Caffeine after Noon - can we say ANGRY
• No alcohol late at night - don't drink much anyway
• Train Earlier in the Day - how about days off at a time and still nothing
• No Heavy Eating within 3 Hours of Bedtime - no problem, but didn't do anything
• No Napping - I'm an adult with a job, when do I really get a nap
• Cool Bedroom - did it
• Get Out of Bed When I Can't Sleep - now I'm really awake...great!
• Chamomile and Valerian Tea - let's go to the bathroom in the middle of the night...

After years of this, I went back to my theory on getting better scores in school that had previously worked for me; stop giving a shit and stop trying. The more frustrated I got with not sleeping, the stronger the monster got. I had finally given up with the tips and tricks and occupied myself with other things, blog posts, recipe creation, programming, etc. And that's when I finally slept mostly through a night (I call asleep by 11 pm and awake at 6:30 am with no wake-ups a win) and almost to when I wanted to get up. I didn't think about beating the insomnia like I had so many nights before. It got me to thinking, if I was trying to do something, maybe I was subconsciously activating the insomnia to keep me up and wake me up. By not even acknowledging it and making my mind active with other thoughts, the viscious little monster couldn't distract my sleep. So the next night, I didn't think about when I had to get up or do anything to force myself to bed; no pills, drinks, binaural beats at all. I made sure I had "busy work" from the time I woke up until the time I finally fell asleep. And wouldn't you know, two nights in a row.

I'm here writing this on over 8 hours of restful sleep, three weeks since my last attack of insomnia and this is honestly the first time I have allowed myself to think about it since then. I'm afraid to jinx it, but I wanted to write about it because I know others that suffer. Perhaps it's time to try just ignoring that it happens to you; don't fight it, drug it, think about it, just go about your day (tonight is a good time to try this since it's Friday) and just do whatever you can to keep your mind occupied on other things until you finally fall asleep. It may not work in one night, so try it a few in a row. The mind is mysterious and who knows, thinking about insomnia may activate a chemical that time delays you into staying awake. Maybe, just maybe, if we can keep from thinking about it, getting frustrated by it, or fighting it, we can find ways to beat it.

And by all means, if you have any tips that have worked for you, let me know because at some point, I know this won't work anymore.