Be A Coach!

This is in no way clearing every client as perfect or condemning every coach.

This has been written before, normally to the client, telling them how to be a good client. It's always something along the lines of "follow the plan" and "communicate" with a few other things tossed in. This time, I'm looking at the online coaches and personal trainers that always seem to think it's the fault of the client. (If you aren't a coach, keep reading anyway) Since we all assume our program will work when followed, we have to focus on communication as the reason for failure when a client follows the plan. Seriously, if the client follows the plan to the letter, as they interpret it, it should work. If they follow what they believe to be the directions, communication is the element between success and failure. Through proper communication, we can adapt and adjust to give them the best chance of success. Unfortunately, we all struggle with communicating effectively in the coach-client relationship at some point. When things aren't going well, the client feels like it's the coach that isn't doing what they're supposed to do. When the coach sees little progress or doesn't hear from the client for extended periods, the coach is left to blame the client. In the end, it doesn't matter where the communication fails, it only matters that the communication wasn't clear and one party isn't getting what they need to bring success to all.

I will only write this once... if either the client contact you or you contact the client, there are very few reasons that a response should take more than 24 hours. Even a simple acknowledgement is better than radio silence. Some clients (and coaches) want under 12 hour response times, some set the deadline at 24 hours, but it must be equal on both sides. If you wait 23 days to respond, you can not expect your coach to reply immediately.

No matter how many clients a coach has served, each client is different. Each client has different needs and learns differently. [If you have an education background, this should sound familiar] Some clients can envision a movement and make their body do it. Some clients can mimic the movements in video. Some can interpret the words, watch the video, and have no success. [Sorry to say it, but if you're this last one, an online coach most likely won't work for you, so don't get pissy when you don't get the results you imagine] Some know basic training schemes and jargon and others need fully detailed examples. As a trainer, it can be difficult to know what your client needs. This is where your ability to communicate is the most important. It's your ability to draw out the needs of your client and provide enough information to avoid getting messages like:

"I don't know what this means."
"What is ____________ exercise?"
"How much weight should I use?"
"This makes no sense."

From experience, getting these types of messages means YOU ARE LETTING YOUR CLIENT DOWN. Don't try to twist it. Don't try to respond with "they're clueless." It isn't their job to know what you mean; it's your job as the coach to meet their needs. Some clients are "needy" because they really don't know...but they will learn if you take the time. Some are "needy" and don't want to learn; they want to be told what to do instead of adding another task to their already exhausting day. Others need almost nothing and can do it perfectly. Whatever their level, you are the paid professional. If you aren't willing to do the work, be honest and tell the client that you aren't the coach for them. If you're going to pawn them off on your assistant, say that up front; that you are the face that attracts them before handing them off to somebody else. Don't take their money and make them feel like they are a pain in your ass or deceive them; there's enough of that going on in this industry as it is. And when they hit you with a request or you can tell they aren't doing what you mean, go back and explain it to them.

But this would be nothing more than a lecture if I didn't give you some advice [and if you are the client, you can use this to help your trainer] about how to head-off some troubles.

• Respond in a timely manner and explain that you aren't always able to respond right away, but will respond ASAP... and mean it.
• Link videos demonstrating proper technique for any exercise. Leaving your client to find their own could result in something really bad.
• Thoroughly explain the programming: warm-ups, sets, reps, rest periods, etc. If the program doesn't prescribe weight, explain what it should feel like and explain when to go heavier or lighter.


• Back Squat - Warm-up: sets of 5 building up to 275 [45,135,185,225,250] - rest 60-90 seconds between sets
  Work Sets: 3 sets of 5 reps @ 275 - rest 90 seconds between sets

If you use super or giant sets, write out what one round would look like, including the rests.

• Complete the following Giant Set by completing 1 set of 1A, moving immediately with no rest to 1B, and moving immediately with no rest to 1C. After completing 1C, rest 2 minutes and repeat. Complete the Giant Set 5 times.
  1A - Barbell Squat - 5 reps at 275
  1B - Underhand Grip Chin-Up - as many as you can get
  1C - Push-Up - as many as you can

If you use timed rounds, explain the goal.

• You have 7 minutes to complete as many rounds of the following circuit.
  1 round consists of:
  5 overhead med ball slams
  5 push-ups
  5 crunches
  5 tuck-jumps
  You can rest as needed between exercises and rounds. The goal is to complete 7 full rounds in 7 minutes. If you do not complete all 7, you should finish all 7 plus plus 2 additional rounds.

Of course this isn't a cure-all and there will always be other problems. If you happen to be a client, there are a few things that you can say that will leave even the best trainer scratching their head or needing to ask you more questions.

"How is this different than other programs?"
"What do you do that my other trainers didn't?"
"I need more motivation."
"I need more accountability."

In all honesty, these are some of the least helpful messages I have ever received. Just like the client needs detail and explanation, we need more than vague questions and statements. If you want to compare programs and coaches, we need to know what your other programs or coaches were like. If you need motivation or accountability, what kind of things work for you? Again, each client is different, so what motivates me could be the off switch for you. Being constantly checked in on could make you function better, or it could lead to revolt from feeling smothered. It is you, the client, that needs to help your coach find out what you need.

Remember, YOU pay the coach to help you, so whether you feel like a pain or not, COMMUNICATE whenever you need something, have a question, or can tell something isn't clicking. I will never know as a coach that you need different motivation or a different accountability measure if you don't tell me the current scheme isn't getting it done. I will never know if you hate or enjoy the program if you don't let me know... don't wait for your frustration to boil over, communicate immediately.

And if you're the coach, be the professional and act like it. Contact your clients. Check in. Ask questions. Lead your client to success, don't make them lead you to coaching them.

The Problem with Mistakes

It isn't what you think. The mistake is not the problem. Mistakes are made every day. We all screw up at some point. Some of us, multiple times a day. Some are so minor, they aren't noticed and others are so large, they can't be missed. I'm almost 39 and I couldn't even guess at how many thousands of mistakes I've made in my life. Some mistakes are angering, some are depressing, and others, we don't even recognize. In training, our mistakes affect us mentally and physically, and after too many mistakes we get frustrated and quit. The problem with mistakes isn't the mistake, it's not learning from the mistake.
There are only three types of mistakes: the mistake you know, the mistake you don't know, and the mistake you refuse to admit. If you know you're making a mistake you have two choices: learn from it and avoid it in the future or deny it and live in insanity. If you don't know, you have one choice, learn why it is a mistake.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Einstein

We've all seen the quote from Einstein and most of us don't ever relate it to a mistake we keep making. I saw a little video the other day and it really ties into this entire post. I recommend you take the 40 seconds to watch it. We will complain about the same problem, the same temptation, the same mistake we make and never change. Instead of taking the opportunity to learn why we make the same mistake over and over again and attempting to solve the underlying issue, we complain, look for support and let it slip our mind only to continue and make the same mistake again.
If you're saying these more than a few times in a year, you're pushing on the insanity button:

• "I was doing great with my diet until [the weekend, I had a few drinks, the office party, etc]."
• "I fell off the wagon...again"
• "I'm training so hard and the [scale, tape, my clothes] is/are going the wrong way."
• "I keep cheating on my diet."
• "I just can't be consistent with my training."
• "I want to [insert goal] but everything always goes against me."

...
and there are a bunch more that are used to defend or justify not being successful.

And somewhere after one of these excuses comes the tidal wave of supporting "rah-rah" unicorn farts crushing the reality that it's possible to learn to not make the same mistake for the 28th time. I could join in with everybody and offer worthless, shallow support and empty words of encouragement, but in my experience, the "support" is more of a hinderance than a help. It doesn't help the person to stand or lead them to analyze their mistake; it placates them. The support convinces them that the mistake is a one time slip-up and that there's nothing that could be done and that it's completely normal to make the mistake...despite making it for the 27th time.
After some time, the "rah-rah" supporters fade because they're just sick and tired of hearing the same "woe is me" or angry post and never seeing a change. They get sick of putting time into helping, supporting, and offering advice only to watch the exact same thing occur. Eventually, there are no more people to offer support and coddling after mistakes. When this happens, people buy into the magic bullet cures so they can scapegoat their failure somewhere else, give up and quit out of frustration, or they finally grow up enough to accept it is their mistake and they have the ability to change it.
Hopefully, you're not in denial and you recognize your own mistakes or you at least accept that you are making a mistake when somebody with expertise points it out. After we accept that we have made a mistake, we have to deal with the emotional fallout, the anger, and the disappointment. This is where I see so many people get hung up and miss the opportunity to learn. I blame the inability to control the emotion on a missing coping skill. With all the talk of "safe spaces" and "freedom from being offended" coping skills are shrinking. If coping doesn't happen and the emotional toll of making a mistake isn't handled, there is no real reflection and analysis into the mistake, and no progress towards tackling the cause. If we learn to step back and learn the triggers that cause the mistake, we can learn to not be so insane.
As I mentioned, I've made thousands of mistakes. Had there been a list of mistakes to avoid in fitness, I might have missed some mistakes that "wasted" time, but chances are, I wouldn't have understood what they meant in the first place, especially as a newer lifter. The most important part in making the mistake is that we pay attention and try to figure out how to not make the same mistake. As one of my coaches said, "it isn't the making of a mistake that pisses me off, it's the making of the same mistake." Nobody likes reflecting on their mistakes and failures. It brings out the worst feelings, but it's necessary, and over time, the feeling fades but the lesson is still available. Even if it isn't our mistake, we can learn from other people's mistakes if we just open our eyes and pay attention to others chasing the same goals. And if you are the one making the mistake don't make it into a problem by failing to learn from it.

Take Aways:

• Stop blaming everything and everybody else. Denial of your role only makes you powerless to change.
• Mistakes happen. See them for what they are, opportunities to learn about yourself and learn better ways.
• Analyze the mistake. How did it effect me? What triggered the mistake? What can I do to avoid the same trigger?
• Stop leaning on empty support and learn to support yourself instead of just moving on.