How Bad Is Your Goal?

A Quick Problem with the New Year's Resolution and Goal Setting

So here we are, about to enter the New Year, where you decide this is your year and you delude yourself into believing you're really going to pull it off; you're going to reach your goal this year because this is your year. If your resolution resembles the failed goals of years gone by, NEWSFLASH, this one will fail too. And the worst part will be all the anger and frustration you have because chances are, your goals are results driven.

If what you want to accomplish is actually important to you, you're not going to delay until some special day where miraculously, everything you set out to accomplish will come true. What makes you think that waiting for January 1st will instantly make something you couldn't accomplish the other 364 days of the year doable? Whether you set out to do it on January 1st or on July 17th, the day you start is DAY 1. You have to, in the words of Clint Darden, "go all in or quit." Make no mistake, I want you to succeed. I want you to achieve your goals and I want you to be healthy.

But it won't be easy. It won't be fast. You're going to have days where you want to quit. You're going to have days where "it's just a donut." crosses your mind. I could tell you it's all about goal setting, stick-to-it-iveness, and the power of unicorn farts. I've written about why we fail to achieve goals (Find Your Why) and spoiler alert; it isn't because it's a bad goal or a bad plan. Instead of just regurgitating the same old speech about goals, motivation, dedication (because we've heard it all before, right?), I'm going to break down goal setting my way and then tell you how to make it work. Hope isn't the answer.

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When I was writing the December Newsletter (If you haven't subscribed, please do. It takes a second and we will never spam you.) I came across a quote that inspired a whole new thought process about goal setting. Sure, you've heard about SMART goals and tried your hand at goal setting to have failed. You're not alone. We all set goals that we don't achieve. It isn't unique to fail. It's not unique to move beyond some goals. It's a fact of life; you're going to choose a goal you really want at the time, you're going to bust your ass trying to achieve said goal, and you're going to fail, sometimes through no fault of your own. What happens when we fail to meet our goal, that is up to us. We can get upset, create an excuse or belittle ourselves, and we can give up in frustration, unhappy. And then I read the quote:

"Happy people plan actions, they don't plan results."

- Denis Waitley

Go ahead, read it again, maybe even a third time. Let it sink in. We plan goals and for the most part, we plan results, results that we have damn near no control over. And when we don't meet the result, we are unhappy.

While Waitley doesn't directly mention goal setting, I believe he is referring to how we choose goals and how we go about achieving them. Since 1981, SMART goals have been the way to go. We spent time studying and writing SMART goals in my Sports Counseling classes. The more we worked with them, the less adequate they became. Here’s why: take 30 seconds and reflect on a goal you had this year. Was it a good goal by the framework? Now, was the goal a process or a result? Did you have control over all the aspects of your goal or just a few pieces?

I had a goal to finish the home renovation by September; here it is, almost Christmas, and it isn't done.

By the SMART framework, I chose a good goal.

Specific - Finish Renovating three rooms

Measurable - Completed the walls, flooring, and carpets

Attainable - There were a full 8 weeks, so there's definitely enough time

Realistic - Again, it's been done before, so it's possible

Time - 8 weeks, done by September

It had all the planning, the intentions, and a specific time-frame, but that doesn't make it a good goal on more than paper.  There were some glaring flaws in this goal:

1. It's an old house, nothing is going to be square, level, or easy to modify
2. I am not an army of construction workers
3. I am not a contractor and my contractor is volunteering his expertise when he has time
4. Weather

Right there, I have four reasons my goal was poorly chosen. I was frustrated and unhappy because my goal was a result that I had 20% control over instead of a plan to accomplish what I did have control of. Had I chosen a goal that passed the PACE test I'd have been better off.

Back to you.  How often have you picked a goal that you can't 100% control, 100% define, 100% act upon, and could change as life dictates?  How often do you allow it to stress you out, to discourage you, ruin your positive energy, and make you unhappy?  Are you about to do it again? Maybe it's time to forgo the standard goal setting, move beyond SMART goals and give PACE goals a try.

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What are PACE Goals?

Looking back at Denis Waitley's quote we can make two observations which we'll use in defining PACE:

1. Planning your action steps will lead to happiness
2. Planning results will not

First and foremost, set a REAL goal, not a bullshit, lip-service goal that's so vague even you don't know what it really means. This goal should be about Actions, not results. Further, choose a goal around something that you can actually control. Finally, make the goal one that can evolve with you. If you're going to take the time to make a goal, make sure it passes the PACE test.

A goal that passes the PACE test is clearly defined and places all the success or failure clearly on your shoulders.

PACE stands for:

Process

Action

Controllable

Evolving

We begin with Process. If we listen to Waitley, we are happier when we plan actions, not results. Is your goal a process or a result? We all have ideal results, but a results goal without a process is worthless. In a similar manner, you could do everything right with a results goal and not achieve the desired result. This is the primary reason I believe goals should focus be based on completing a PROCESS. When you choose a process goal, the goal will pass the "what does that mean?" and "what do I have to do?" tests.

--We'll start with a standard goal, "I'm going to lose 20 lbs." This is a result, so we need to answer "what do I have to do?". The process could be "I'm going to eat better and be more active." (what does that mean and what do I have to do?) We redefine the process as "participate in activities that will help me lose weight." Again, what does that mean and what do I have to do? "I have to be intentionally active more than 4 hours per week and reduce my intake of sweets to only 1 serving per week." Aha! A clear process!

Next comes Action. Your goal must require conscious action on your part. This is where we should spend the most time evaluating if our goal is good. Plan the steps to accomplish the result you want and know the action steps you need to take. If our goal does not require conscious action on our part, it will most likely fail the next qualifier in PACE. 

--Action goals for our example are something like "I will train after work on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday" and "I will eat my sweets only on Saturday night."

Controllable is as obvious as it sounds. Do I have control of the process and actions? Again, it's about actions, not results. You can't control results like winning a contest, losing weight, or being healthier any more than you can control which way the wind blows. You can, however, plan and control the actions you take, which if done to the best of your ability, hopefully produce the desired result. Again, it is your goal and you are responsible, therefore it needs to be something you can control.

--"I will train with weights for 45 minutes on M, T, Th, Fr and I will not keep tempting food in my house so I will have to go out to get it on Saturday."

Lastly, any good goal should be Evolving. We need to be willing to re-evaluate and change our goal. Sometimes life cooperates and allows us to complete our action goals. Other times, life dictates a change. Either way, we need to be flexible with our goal. As we achieve, our goal should grow; as we realize certain aspects are unachievable in our time frame, we should modify. Notice I'm not saying give up. Forgoing a goal is a last resort and something only you will know when it is time to call in.  Some times this means allowing more or reducing the number of servings of sweets.

--"I have not been able to train as much as I like. I will train as much as I can and allow myself a serving of sweets only after I have trained 4 days for 45 minutes."

While I moved away from losing 20 lbs as the focus of the goal, the likely result of completing my PACE goals will be better health and weight loss. By creating an action goal that I can control and will evolve as needed, I have a better chance at success and a happy journey.

As we embark on our new journey, consider Waitley's advice with a little bit of hard earned wisdom.  Set your sights high and challenge yourself. Test your goal against the PACE framework. Ask yourself if you are in control of all the pieces that lead to your goal.  If you don't have 100% control, you can still have that goal, but be aware and accepting that you can give your 100% and still not receive the result you are looking for.  Most importantly, execute the planned action and be proud of the accomplishments along the way. 

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The quick list for goal setting:

-What does your goal really mean? Why do you want to do it?  You have to keep asking why until you have a single, solitary reason that can't be defined as anything other than your "purpose."

-Where does your goal rank in your life?  Is it essential or non-essential?  If you aren't willing to give up something you love, you'll be willing to give up on your goal unless you can give it enough weight.  Finding the right reason is paramount.  It needs to be a deep seated reason too, not something like "just because."  If your goal isn't in your top 5, you'll probably say fuck it at some point when it gets tough or it drags on.  Just an observation. Sometimes this means only having 1 or 2 goals at a time.

-Stop telling EVERYBODY.  Tell a few people that matter, the people that give your goal weight, the ones that can check you back on track.

Think of your goals like a car

The car is the complete package

The engine is the motivation, the reason you want to accomplish the goal.   Big engine, higher motivation.  Little engine and your car doesn't mow the grass.

The wheels are the things that keep you grounded when you get carried away.  Cheap tires you slide off the road, you blowout at trouble.

The gas is the effort you put into accomplishing the goal.  Shit in, shit out, etc.

The brakes are there to stop you from going out of control

The steering is to keep you on target

Now PACE.

Process

Actionable

Controllable

Evolving

Why Aren't I Losing Weight? 10 Factors You Need to Consider.

Every year, millions of people attempt to tackle weight loss. They find talk of calories, of macros, of IIFYM, Paleo, and IF; hormones with really weird names, and fat burning supplements; training programs, met cons, and infomercials galore. Everybody says how simple it should be and then proceeds to muddy the simplicity with hundreds of “if's” and options. There is no shortage of information telling you everything you've done wrong or why this program is better than the others. And I'm not going to write another step-by-step guide to losing weight, discuss macros, diets, and training programs. There are enough of those out there for you to read. Instead, I'm going to address some of the not-so obvious problems in weight loss.

Without boring you with all the different theories and the soapbox lecture about how weight loss is a process and there is no such thing as a quick-fix, I want to remind you that THERE IS NO QUICK-FIX, no magic pill, no insta-cleanse (that's a whole different post), and a whole lot of ways that work. Each person responds differently and part of the challenge is finding what works for you. The most important part is approaching your weight loss systematically and by making small, sustainable life changes and having patience.

Assuming you've got a solid plan (no magic pills, no drastic calorie cuts or food eliminations) and a training program that matches (some cardio, some weight training), you should see progress happen within a few weeks depending on how much you've got to lose. Remember, the scale isn't always going to show progress, so that's why we advocate taking before pictures from multiple angles along with measuring calves, thighs, hips, waist, chest, biceps, and neck. But what happens when you aren't seeing any of these measures move?

Unfortunately, even with the perfect plan, there are other factors that can effect weight loss, and many of them are either overlooked or never discussed. Instead of looking deeper, the fitness world would have you change programs, cut your calories, use a “cleanse” or buy some new variant of bootcamp DVD paired with a TENS Unit (the electro shock thing).

Some of these factors that effect our weight loss are within our control, and many others are not. Even though we can't have 100% control, when we know what is causing our problem, we can take appropriate steps to minimize their effect.

Possible Factors Effecting Weight Loss:

• The Wrong Mentality – This could be the most difficult weight loss stumbling block of them all. Whether it's overconfident or self-defeating, how we think about our weight loss and our plan can determine our chance of success. When we're too stubborn to listen (I didn't say implement) to other options we're likely to make poor decisions when we stall. When we don't believe in the program we're using, we're likely to cheat on the diet, skip workouts, and commit self-sabotage in small ways. Either way, your success depends on you believing

• Stress – We all face stress every day. Some of us train to relieve stress, some of us play sports, some meditate, and others binge eat. For the most part, we handle the stress fairly well, but when we face more stress than we can handle or we don't recover well enough, bad things happen. Stress causes the body releases the hormone Cortisol. While Cortisol is both normal and necessary, too much of it throws off the body's hormonal balance and can result in a number of medical conditions.
  
  One of the best techniques to battle stress in my experience, is learning to meditate. There are apps on both iOS and Android that can guide you through techniques to relax and relieve stress in as little as 5 minutes each day.

• Working Out Too Much – The old addage goes something like “Eat less, move more.” Unfortunately, in weight loss, more isn't always better. When you work out too much, whether it's endless hours of cardio or weights, the body's reaction may be to hold on to weight. Simply explained, working out causes stress, and stress without proper nutrition and recovery leads to negative changes in the body and potential weight gain.
  
  Many unknowingly out-train their recovery and nutrition, resulting in no progress and a lot of frustration. The solution is truly as simple as it seems; do less. That's not to say do nothing, but if you are training 5-6 days per week and you aren't seeing changes, it may be time to consider reducing your training days to only three days per week.

• Too Little Recovery – There are articles and research to be found all over that explain the importance of recovery and sleep on hormonal regulation, recovery, and weight loss. When the hormones get out of whack (yup, science terms here) weight loss and fat burning slows. Lack of sleep and poor sleep quality leave us tired and potentially reaching for sugary food and drink to give us quick bursts of energy, skipping workouts, and eating the easy, fast food because we're too tired to make healthy meals at home.
  
  One of the tools I use to monitor my sleep is called “sleep bot” for Android. There are a plethora of similar trackers that monitor sleep time and movement and can provide a sleep quality. Many can also create “smart alarms” that wake us up at the right time with the right amount of sleep. Another valuable part of getting restful sleep is playing meditation hypnosis before bed to relieve stress. If monitoring and adjusting your sleep isn't working, it may be time to speak to a doctor about it.

• Inconsistency – We all see it or have experienced it, the on again, off again relationship with good nutrition and working out. But what happens when we start and stop repeatedly? What happens when we only work out once a week instead of the three that we planned on? Weight loss takes consistent efforts, and patience to stay the course.
  
  News Flash – The infomercials provide skewed perceptions about typical weight loss rates. The truth is weight loss and body changes don't happen overnight and sometimes not for weeks. Be patient, make your training and nutrition a priority. Plan it into your day and then take no excuses.

• Medical Conditions – Hypothyroidism, Cushing's Syndrome, PCOS, Syndrome X, Depression, and other Hormonal Changes are all conditions that effect weight loss. Each condition occurs for a different reason and can be an underlying cause on why the weight isn't coming off.
  
  While we can read all about these conditions and symptoms, and self-diagnose, the only true diagnosis and treatment comes with the the assistance of a medical professionals.

• Medications – There are millions of medications on the market and being used by people all over the world. Birth Control, Anti-Depressants, Blood Pressure Meds, and many others can all effect our hormone levels, cause fatigue, fluid retention, or can increase appetite. Like everything else that goes into our body, the medications we take can effect how our body works.
  
  You can research the medications you take, along with their side effects online. If you're concerned about your medications and their effect on weight loss, check with the prescribing doctor.

• Food Sensitivities – There is a difference between a sensitivity and an allergy. A trouble food can be tolerated in small amounts and the bad reaction might be prevented with medications in a food sensitivity. The reason for the reaction is certain elements of the offending food might not be digested and processed optimally, resulting in inflammation. Inflammation is typically followed by a level of insulin resistance and possibly leaky gut.
  
  The obvious solution is to limit the intake of foods that you are sensitive too. Another possible solution is the use of Probiotics to help maintain a healthy gut and aid in digestion. If you suspect food sensitivities could be hindering your weight loss, it is best to seek the assistance of a medical professional.

• Lack of Variety – When we do the same thing or eat the same thing for too long, our body adapts. In 6-8 weeks, the body can become more efficient and at that point, a small change needs to be made to keep progress moving forward.
  
  Evaluate your program every 6-8 weeks. If you are still making progress, there is no need to make a change, but when a program that was working, stalls, it's time to consider a small, calculated change.

• Too Much Variety – On the flip side of not changing enough is the person that changes too much. Whether it's switching from carb backloading to IIFYM to IF or from 5x5 to GVT to PHAT, too much variety prevents us from making progress. There is a huge myth out there that says the body needs to be “confused” to produce results.
  
  Like many have mentioned before, progress requires consistency and a chance for the body to adapt. As the body becomes efficient and adapts, then it is time to make just enough of a change to keep progress going.

As you can see, there are a number of factors that can effect weight loss and while we have control over only a few of them, we can be informed and make educated decisions about how to handle all of them. Once you've got the plan and the program it is important to be patient and consistent. Remember to take pictures, use the tape measurements, and the scale to create a whole picture of your transformation. If things aren't moving, instead of giving up or making drastic changes, consider the many factors above and ask for help from the people that know about and have experience working with weight loss.

It's the New Year and They're Back

It’s almost two weeks before the New Year and some of the “resolutioners” have started making plans because "this is the year." Some will quit quickly and some will last longer before giving in. Is it because they don’t have the desire to get in shape, get strong, be healthy, etc.? I don’t believe for one minute that their desire is any less than ours. Nobody wants to be overweight, out of breath walking a flight of steps, or be embarrassed to go out in public. Nobody wants to take pills just to keep their heart from failing or injections every day just so they can eat kind of like a normal person. You’re a fool to think that the person that made it to the gym will quit because they don’t want to get healthy. And you're an even bigger ass if you don't offer them the support they need to transform their lives.

I admit, I used to laugh at the idea of the “New Year’s Resolution” because 99% of them weren't going to make it because they were quitters, lazy, or any other stereotype you can think of. As I spent more years in the gym, I learned that nothing was further from the truth and that them making the permanent changes has very little to do with motivation and more to do with a supportive, educational, and fun environment. Everybody wants to feel better and be healthy, to not be embarrassed to put on tight clothes and not frustrated trying to find clothes when they go shopping. (Even I struggle to find clothes that fit) The same person that appears “resistant” to getting healthy could just be a person that is overwhelmed, intimidated, and sometimes ignorant as to where to begin.  With the internet so plentiful of information, the gym filled with “brofessors” and magazines covered with “fitsporational” people, a new person that has never done anything health related goes into information overload and can feel totally embarrassed. As my friends put it, “paralysis by analysis”stops the effort, makes them feel like they will never reach the goal, and ultimately leads them down the path to failure. They don’t have to go down that path, just like you didn’t go down that path.

Remember back when you first walked into a gym on your own, not because it was a school class or because your coach forced you to train, but because you wanted to do it for you? Was it easy? Were you nervous? Did you have all the answers? Did you feel lost because there was too much information, too much stimuli with the big lifters, the fast lifters, the trainers? Or were you just another new person trying to figure things out, getting in the way, and making mistakes because you had no idea? I'm willing to bet you started training like most of us, not knowing shit and either too confident to admit you don't know or too ignorant to know you don't know.

Next time you're in, look over at the heavy guy walking on the treadmill. His doctor tells him he needs to workout. The talk shows, the daily news, and even his entire family tells him the same thing. This guy joins the gym under peer pressure and doesn’t “have a clue” about how to get in shape. He doesn’t have a friend to guide him, teach him the lifts, or proper training. He sees Dr. Oz, the magic "wraps" and miracle "cleanses", the Shakeology and the other overpriced proteins that promise amazing results. He doesn’t want to pay for a trainer that’s already fit because “they could never understand what it’s like” and admittedly, most trainers don’t know because they have never been heavy or struggled to workout and eat right. Think he's going to last on his own? He's likely to quit. I think his perseverance comes down to something simple, something that the “dedicated” people were lucky to find when they started. Help and camaraderie.

Do you think it’s just the big guy or lady? What about the skinny kid that comes in with ego oozing all over the place with his shaker of colored water and his 17 packs of the latest pills and four protein shakes? He drinks the kool-aid that all the muscle magazines and youtube warriors tell him. He sees the drugs and the routine that Phil Heath used the last three weeks before the Olympia, and hey, if you do it too and take the supplements, you too can get big and ripped. They all forget you have to start somewhere and make steady progress. They all make you believe it takes 21 days, 20 minutes per day, and no weight at all. They ignore that you have to learn about nutrition, learn about training, and then train hard, get your sleep and take the time to recover. Instead of having a helping hand, they look for the shortcut and quit when they can’t find it or worse, they turn to the hard stuff and destroy themselves from the inside out.

How about the shy girl that puts in her headphones and never leaves the cardio section? She heard that doing slow cardio for hours on end will make her super sexy and that weights will bulk her up like a man.  She’s watching Dr. Oz and hearing about all these get thin quick diets and magic pills, but doesn’t know that there are better ways then slowly destroying her metabolism from not eating to create the fit body she desires and not the “skinny-fat” body she sees from all the cardio-bunnies.  She doesn't realize you need muscle to have muscle tone. She sees the infomercials and hears the information, but doesn’t want to believe it because that’s not what her peers are saying she needs to do. She’s surrounded by ignorance and drowning in the pool.

We all know them, have seen them, or were one of them. Every single “new” person to the gym that joins for a resolution, or for beach season, or a cruise, etc. has made enough of a step that the experienced people owe it to them to be welcoming and helpful because you were there once too. I hear what you’re saying; they’re in your way, on your machine, using your bench, and just going to quit anyway. And I suppose the monster that is doing sets of 10 with your max is in your way as well? Are you planning to bitch like a little schoolgirl about him as well? Didn't think so! If somebody told you to quit chasing your goal all the time because you were in the way, you'd still be in your crib sucking your thumb. Maybe you can be the reason they don’t quit. Maybe you can feel good about yourself and help somebody along the way. Trust me, there is nothing better than seeing a success story because of something you did.

If you’re an experienced lifter there are some very simple things you can do to make the new person more likely to stay and even help them make progress.

• Accept the fact that you are not better than them because you’ve been doing it longer, you lift more, you’re fit, or you have lifting buddies. Let me give you a little eye-opener; unless you are the best in the world, have the all-time world record, or are the current #1 in the world, there is somebody better than you. Even if you are that good, you don’t have the right to be the #1 jackass to the people that are just trying to learn. Last I checked, you weren’t born #1, you had to work, ask, and get help from people that probably wanted very little to do with you because you were in their way. If they’re on a piece of equipment you “want to use”, ask to work in, and then, make sure they know it isn't an inconvenience to change the weights, because that's what good lifters do ALL THE TIME.

• If they’re doing the same lifts, ask if they want to train with you, and then actually train with them with the understanding it will be slower and you'll have to change weights and you might have to teach. When I was learning, I was lucky to have a group of guys that asked if I wanted to train with them and then helped me learn correct form and how to be safe and didn’t care about stripping and reloading the bar. You’re in the gym anyway, will it kill you to unload and reload the bar? Didn’t think so.


• Don’t be the douchebag that asks how many more sets and sits there and stares and makes jackass comments. And if you’re on the equipment, and the new guy is staring, he’s not just staring, he’s trying to learn. Remember in school, you stared a lot to see what was happening? You learned by being a mimic. Same thing in the gym, except now you’re the teacher. Notice I also said you “want to use” because you don’t “need to use” it because YOU are the experienced lifter, which means you can adapt and adjust, or are you just as ignorant as the new guy? When you’re working in, remember their weight, their machine settings, etc. It takes three seconds and sometimes that simple gesture is enough to give them a connection to someone in the gym that may keep them coming back. Don’t expect them to remember yours, but you can show them how it’s done by setting the example. Eventually, they will catch on without you being a dick.


• Don’t be captain asshole if you see them doing something “wrong” in your eyes. They don’t know any better, so try asking if they need help with the apparatus or with the lift. Some people just don’t know and others don’t know what their body is doing. Trust me, 10 years as a Division I coach and I still see kids that don’t know how they are moving. The exception to that rule is if they stand a chance of catastrophic injury. Only a true asshole will let someone get hurt, and if you’re that guy in the gym, get out! Approaching somebody that might get hurt is hard, but if you know what they are trying to do and you can prevent them from injury, do it. This includes offering a spot when they grab a weight they might struggle with, they have a machine set wrong, or their form is just atrocious. I’ve found asking what they’re working on or watching them for a few sets before asking if I can offer advice helps them accept the advice. And 5 minutes out of my workout to help you be better is worth it.

This is the main point, give them the benefit of the doubt. Whether you learned to train like I did, with a group of great guys that took the time and made the effort to help, or if you had to learn the hard way on your own, be that person that helps the new, timid person and pass on your knowledge. Give them a chance to be successful, a familiar face in the gym, and a chance to accomplish something that so many people fail at because there is no support. We can all learn from everybody, even the new person might know something you never knew or see something you were too cocky to realize. So, as we continue into the new year, try to be the person that gives lifters a good name, not the asshole that makes Planet Fitness commercials real. Stop stroking your ego’s, being anti-social, or being an elitist. Teach somebody, make them better, and learn from everybody. Everybody started somewhere, time to remember where you started and pass on the knowledge to get them to where you are.

Willpower is a Muscle

“I wish I had more willpower.” The sentence heard repeatedly around dessert tables at holiday parties. The same sentence muttered by the “this is the time” guy that wants to kick some bad habits. Let’s not forget the New Year’s Resolutionist, this is going to be the year, fitness chaser that can’t seem to stay on track with their diet or training. But why do we say we don’t have the willpower to overcome these obstacles? Maybe it’s time we actually looked at this mystical thing called willpower, why it fails us, and how we can overcome.

Bear with me for a minute and see if this situation seems familiar.

You enter into health and fitness for some motivational reason: you want to lose weight, the doctor says you need to or you’ll have xyz disease, you want to grow an ass that holds your pants up, you want to be able to run with your kids, etc. Whatever the reason, you entered into this crazy venture and you’re beastmode, going ham, dedicated, and committed to doing it. You got the magazines, the supplements, the training books, and you’re on your way. After a few weeks the progress slows, the enthusiasm dwindles and eventually, you’re finding that “other” things just keep popping up and stopping you from training.

Your friends and family don’t support you and encourage you, and you’re on the verge of quitting. You hear about this website called Fitocracy that supports people on their fitness journey and you join. You get re-energized and you’re back on track with all your props, badges, and duels. Somehow, you still have demons telling you to just quit because the the novelty wore off. You reach out to the community and ask for support, and they give it, some say train with friends, others to get a trainer, and inevitably, somebody will give you the same old line about “get a goal.” [Read about why having goals isn’t enough here] You’re now in a position to make a choice, with community support you lose a few, fail, or succeed, or you can just quit.
**Losing and failing aren’t always bad things. There’s an important difference between losing, failing, and quitting as David Allen points out in his article on EliteFTS**

Bear Bryant said “The first time you quit, it’s hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don’t even have to think about it. If you’re reading this in disbelief, that’s great that you are one of the lucky ones that hasn’t thought “why am I doing this?” or you’re just delusional. I’m willing to bet my Ben & Jerry’s that you’ve been down this path with something. I know I’ve been there a few times where I was chasing goals and kept falling short but because I didn’t give up, I’ve been able to make it.

Back to willpower. What is willpower? Many would agree it is the “thing” that allows us to make good choices or fails us when we make poor choices. Some believe it’s a force inside of us that allows us to hold on and defeat temptation and others refer to it simply as “self-control.” The APA defines willpower as the “ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” I define willpower as the muscle behind habit and the scapegoat behind our failures.

So how do we get better at defeating temptation and continuing the pursuit of our goals? We train our willpower, of course! When we want to conquer physical tasks, we train and use our muscles. When we face intelligence-related tasks, we study and we use our brain. It is the exact same thing when we want to change our lives, only we can’t see or feel the immediate impact of our efforts. We change our lives through building good habits and we build good habits through exercising willpower.

Some studies say 21 days builds a habit, others, 66, and I’m sure if I were to look long enough I’d find 20 other timeframes. The short of it is habits take time and every day until it becomes a habit takes willpower. We’ve all been there, to that place where we’re so tired and so stressed that we just don’t have the energy to fight anymore. While we can’t flip a switch and make ourselves strong enough to resist, we can take three small steps to help us in the battle.

The first step, and probably one of the most obvious and overlooked steps is to minimize the exposure to the trigger that brings out the bad habit and to emphasize the good habit. If the problem is eating junk food, then removing the junk food, avoiding the fast food restaurants, and rearranging the kitchen so healthy foods are easy to access and junk requires more effort is a starting point. If the goal is to work out more, start with 10 minutes and increase in small amounts each day until you reach 45 minutes, and then add a second day, and a third.

The second very important step is finding a balance in your life. Over-indulgence and over-restriction are both tremendously detrimental to willpower and good habits. We read it all the time now with IIFYM and Flexible Dieting. If I am too strict, I am exhausting my willpower at every turn and eventually will run off track and give in before I have trained a new habit. If I’m too loose, I will never change.

Finally, for those times when we just can’t do it on our own, have a support group and an accomplice that truly does have your best interest at heart. Some will turn to family, some to friends, and some to social networks like Fitocracy. In any case, having others there to talk to and offer strength when you feel weak will help you beat those evil temptations and strengthen your willpower. And after enough help and support, that willpower will become a habit and you will be able to focus on your next healthy habit.

To sum up the three keys for stronger willpower

1. Minimize exposure to trigger objects, maximize exposure to healthy triggers
2. Find balance in your life, being too extreme only makes it harder to succeed
3. Have an accomplice to keep you on track, there are support groups for everything

A few years back I saw this posted on a weightroom door and it spoke to me.

The Habit
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me,
And I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men.
And, alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine,
Plus, the intelligence of a man.
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world at your feet.
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.
Who am I?

I am a HABIT! 

And with everything I write related to health and fitness, BE PATIENT! Nothing happens overnight, and with health and fitness it will take time, so take a deep breath, get out the calendar and celebrate the successes, no matter how small (no, I did not say to eat the cake) because the little celebrations are what keeps us going. 

And if you need some support, join Fitocracy and follow Erin and I (GottaLift and ErinEW6916) or send us an email at zstrengthfit@gmail.com